It's not cool but I have to say I've felt passionless of late. I've been scratching at the rituals and forums of inspiration but the world seems to turn in spite of me.... and no matter how many times I fry my vegetables in cultured organic Ghee I can't sink my fingers into the BUZZ of living.
I know! know! It's so self-deprecating and first-world of me but not being one to fashion my ideals on what's popular I'm singing this one out loud: P a s s i o n l e s s. If my IG and FB feed is anything to go by I definitely have a disease - a serious case of f#cking R E A L I T Y and apparently I need to live with it. Symptoms, though varied include my innocuous mortality and the realisation that life can be bloody A V E R A G E sometimes. It's not depressive, not glum nor sad - it's just my human-ness and I don't know if anyone is okay with that anymore? It's not the love, light and rainbows we expect to live vicariously through. The divide between my reality and the 'go chase your dreams and thrive till you die' attitudes on Social Media is making me question my sanity.
I have a swag of experiences but nothing to say because I don't feel all perky and glamorous being me on a daily basis. So sometimes I say nothing. I do nothing. Fresh perspectives are not always multi-coloured sparkles. But I think my ordinariness might just be my saviour. I'm cool with remaining humble, authentic and vulnerable and not jostling for a position in the vortex of fame, fortune and perfection where everything that is anything looks good with a filter and 6-figure fan base. After the recent spate of high-profile suicides such ideals are hereby redundant. So you better start reshaping your goals Gen-ME... Oh such deep un-learning for ya'll...
And I think that's it. We're obsessed with the idea of money, travel, passion and fame. People dedicate long hours and sacrifice their ethics and family for it - so it must be confronting to 'have it all' but still feel utterly ordinary. Where once an anonymous walk by the ocean collecting shells appeased us, our social hierarchy has become a measure of value and worse yet - FREEDOM.
Oh human-ness you tricky thing.
Feeling passionless 'ain't no party, but I'm fond of the long pause involved. I like the quiet moments of alone-ness without the crushing expectations of a bazillion strangers. Why? Well I'm a follower too and it's easy to suck the life out of other people when life feels ordinary. It's easy to envy them, and pine for their next move with our feet stuck in the ground - going nowhere. Wondering all the while what the HECK are we doing with our LIFE?
Scrolling is almost as passive to us as exhaling our breath, there's no major thought involved. I'm just waiting for the-jug-to-boil kinda stuff...
You might think because of my title that I'm now going to launch into a remedy for your lack of Passion. I could pull together an Acai Bowl for you? Do you make Bone broth yet? Evvvveryone is doing it. How about we talk Magnesium Spray and how it doesn't work? The point I’m trying to make is STOP TRYING TO REMEDY your humanness. It's a race you cannot win. Your ordinariness is the exact pause that propels you forward - so long as you look up from your phone long enough to see.
Be okay with the YOU wandering around your house in tracksuit pants, folding washing, picking up stray socks, stirring the soup pot and looking at the late setting sun.
Another day done.
That's a bloody life skill right there - and it sure as hell beats any ACAI bowl (bore me to tears). Let's practise our language around our ordinariness giving others the permission to feel theirs too - so if we should ever find ourselves in the void of fame and fortune we can find the words to say "HECK - I'M SO AVERAGE". Because if we think Suicide is a problem now, I'm betting it will become a much greater issue for the generations to come. How many times do you answer the question “how are you?” with “I’m being still and boring”. I pretty well never say that. It’s weird and certainly no measure of success in the busyness of life.
For those of you standing on the Social Media sideline, your eyes glistening with the promise of everything you ever wanted perhaps it’s time to dig a lot deeper than the 6 figure fan base. Who are you in your Ordinary? Share that with your people. And before I get any more self-righteous let me say this. Being healthy is infectious, great and your birth right. But being ordinary is too. It’s not normal to be consistently BUZZING and FROTHIN’ on how good you are at life. What’s to learn from that? Wisdom comes from weathering not only life’s challenges but YOUR SELF.
Now go and sprinkle that sh#t everywhere.
Melanie Lock ND BHSc
Naturopath | Mama | Writer | The Hollow Store | Nurture Magazine